The following is a list of things that my close friends or I have been caught saying. Every time I hear one of them, my right eye starts twitching and I get another wrinkle on my forehead. Cheers to maturity!
- She looks like she’s put on a bit of weight…
- Did I take all of my pills this morning?
- I really need more fiber.
- I’ll be right back; I’m going to the store to get some milk.
- Do you ever worry about your retirement?
- Has she had work done?
- What a hussy.
- When I was your age…
- You mean they’re still not married?
- I’m trying to decide between pantyhose or no pantyhose.
- Well that’s encouraging.
- I’ll have to check my schedule.
- Is that even music?
- This drink is too strong. How much liquor did you put in here?
- That’s quite the age difference…
- I can’t; I have jury duty.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go oil my walker.