I spent a good chunk of yesterday thinking of post ideas that wouldn’t center around me. Being the altruistic, giving individual that I am, I thought it was time for someone or something else to take the stage.
But I can’t make this stuff up, y’all. These things just happen.
Remember when that woman suggested I become an egg donor? (When her husband came into the store a few days later to pick up their order, I almost told him that his wife wants to have my babies. I decided that would be inappropriate. Damn.) We had a mini-repeat yesterday evening.
I had two customers come in– a man and a woman in their late 50s– whom I waited on attentively. They were both in long, wool overcoats, and the gentleman looked very distinguished with his bald head. It was the bald head that got me, really. You have to be friendly to a man who has no hair.
I finished ringing up their purchase, wrapped up one of their items, and offered to help them out to their car. That’s when, in an eerie shadow of a former customer interaction, he reached into his shirt pocket and handed me a business card.
“If you ever need help with money, you give me a call.”
Based purely on that sentence, this man is either Daddy Warbucks– planning on leaving me his entire fortune, and which would explain the bald head– or he’s a pimp.
Looking at the business card, I realized that neither of these conclusions were right. He’s actually just a financial advisor. Double damn.
That’s when I got to thinking (because there were only to be two more customers to even walk through the store that night)…
I know why the woman suggested a donate my eggs. I’m a blonde haired, blue eyed, healthy 20-something who is college educated and well-spoken. Who wouldn’t want to have my babies? No one! That’s who!
But what about our interaction (which lasted maybe 5 minutes total) suggested to this man that I need financial advice and that I would make a good client for him.
I’m working retail, so clearly I’m desperate. The problem with that is that I don’t have enough money to pay for a financial advisor. I’m offering discounts, so I don’t manage my money well? It doesn’t quite work like that. All of the other reasons I can come up with really do make him sound like a pimp. I don’t post those kinds of jokes on the Internet because they are insensitive. But still funny.
I still have about six months before I move to become Certified even more Intelligent. I want to make this into a contest. What is the craziest proposition that I can receive, while working, during what will be about just less than a year of retail? Think of all the opportunities that could come my way!
Maybe there will be morticians and funeral directors who will offer me grave plots or urns!
Maybe there will be podiatrists who will offer me free foot examinations!
Maybe there will be segway dealers who will offer me the hottest form of transportation ever!
I love having something to look forward to.
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