Hey y’all! (Yes, I say y’all. It’s a quirk for a lot of people from my part of the country because we feel inadequate not having a specific accent.) Hope you had a wonderful Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Winter Solstice celebration! If you still have a Christmas hangover, I completely understand. If you still have a real hangover, I’m … Continue reading
Filed under Year 1 …
“Pinocchio” was Never on My List of Baby Names…And Never Will Be
Vanity is a fickle friend. Earlier this week, I discovered a disturbing fact: My nose is crooked. I’ve known for quite some time that I have a deviated septum and that there is a funny flat spot on the tip of my nose that sometimes I rub when I’m nervous. However, I never examined it … Continue reading
A Revised Christmas Story
Well, I do believe that all of my Christmas shopping is now complete! (Edit twenty minutes later, after I really thought through my list of people to buy for: The previous statement is false. I have items in mind for two more people, but they have not been purchased yet. Damn.) (Edit three hours later, … Continue reading
Santa is Not Your Baby. That’s Just Gross.
Please, dear World, STOP singing “Santa Baby.” Not only is it catchy and annoying, therefore stuck in my head all day long, but it’s also just really creepy. Santa is the symbol of childhood delight. He represents wonder, excitement, and the promise that our good deeds do not go unnoticed. He’s also a very old, … Continue reading
If You Would Like to Celebrate with Me, Feel Free to Bring Presents!
Today marks one year from my last official break up. Happy Single-hood Anniversary, Jillian! (Hey, thanks! I totally wasn’t expecting that! I’m so flattered that you remembered! Of course, I always accept gifts…) Yes, I do remember the date when my last boyfriend and I broke up. I’m not sure why, but I think that … Continue reading
Eat Your Heart Out. Or Eat My Heart Out…?
Three things. Two of only personal excitement, and one of actual post-worthy note. 1. I now have 22 page views from Russia. Score. 2. I met a child whose great enthusiasm for Harry Potter comes primarily from the “funny” (aka emotionally scarring) things that happen to Dudley and Draco. It filled me a with a … Continue reading
This Post is Going to Make Me An Astronaut
The past two days have been highlighted by one of my favorite movies on TV. Miracle is a heartwarming tale of the 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team, a ragtag bunch of young hockey players who beat the odds to win the Gold Medal and prove that the formidable Soviet Team is not indestructable. It always … Continue reading
Spatula is a Funny Word. Also, I’m a Homewrecker.
Every so often, I decide to do something particualarly feminine and mature. You know, wear really high heels. Experiment with new makeup colors. Watch the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice. Shower. Things like that. Last weekend, my act of maturity was to cook dinner for my dad and sister. Remember, I’m the girl who … Continue reading
You Are My Hero, Bumper Sticker Man
Due to my neurotic fear of car accidents, I have an overarching hatred for almost all other drivers because they will inevitably lead to my demise. The two worst offenders are tailgaters and people who don’t know how to use a four-way-stop. I found someone who knows the best way to combat the former. Today, … Continue reading
Dude, I Was Totally Going to Say That
Do you ever look back upon a situation and realize that after months of internal contemplation, you have the perfect response to interject in a conversation which you previously ignored? Otherwise known as “Dude, if I had said that, it would have been totally awesome…”? That is where my head as been at lately. Besides … Continue reading
