Filed under Year 2

The Do-Over

“The Do-Over” is perhaps the greatest American dream. We would all love the chance to take something back, to do something right. We cry– ok, I cry– over movies where the couple gets back together after years apart, professing their undying love and committing to end their days picking up dirty socks and reminding about … Continue reading

Don’t Call It A Comeback. Or You Totally Could.

Are you ready to get smacked upside the head with some irony? The real meaning of irony, not Alanis Morrisette’s version. I am a very smart English teacher, and this is where my little story begins. I started graduate school last September, and some might say that it is simultaneously crushing my soul and lifting … Continue reading

Seasons Make Me Puke

This week, the Pacific Northwest is taking its first deep breath of autumn. We inhale and catch the slightest bite of deep cold– a cold that is just a whisper but will soon be pervasive and shocking. For many, this signals a turn towards comfort. Fall brings memories of school supplies and football games. We … Continue reading

I’m Cool. You’re Cool. We’re All Cool. Except You. You’re Not Cool. No, Not You. Yeah, You.

There comes a dreaded time in every person’s life when one must perform an act of the most infuriating and humiliating nature: Playing a get-to-know-you game. For you hermits or crotchety old men who haven’t changed jobs in 40 years, get-to-know-you games are an American tradition forced upon completely suspecting individuals when they submit themselves to new … Continue reading

Jill’s Notes: Edgar Allan Poe

This is the first of what I hope to be many posts detailing important literature in our culture. By “detailing,” I mean explaining in layman’s terms with a little of my own flair thrown in. Most people don’t appreciate true greatness in the written word because teachers tell them that literature is to be revered or ignored. So … Continue reading

Anything But Coupons

I’m moving! Finally! After over five months of a very disappointing apartment hunt, I have found a place of my very own. It has wood floors..well, fake wood, but still. Also, a beautiful view…of the strip mall across the street. And the countryside, really. The laundry room is just down the pot-hole pocked parking lot. … Continue reading

Just Leave The Cow In The Bathroom

Happy 100 posts, people! The past 99 posts have been very enlightening. I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into when I started. Now I’m hooked. You hear that, readers? You’re like crack. I don’t even know what crack is like. But I know that you are like it. The time is … Continue reading

If You Give A Mormon A Mustache

The secret to a well-executed bachelorette party is all in the preparation. First, prepare a theme for the night. Say, mustaches. Second, accumulate as many mustache-related articles as possible. Mustache t-shirts. Mustache toothpicks. Play-dough for “Pin the Mustache on the Groom.” Mustache mad libs. Mustache themed-drinks (no hair involved). And of course, a mustache scavenger hunt. … Continue reading

Meet Craig

“I’m totally the quietest person in the sixth grade. Everyone knows this. The teachers know it, the students know it, my parents know it. But then there’s this teacher, and she totally despises me. I have no idea why. Like, it’s not like I did anything wrong. I’m just sitting there in my corner and … Continue reading

Fritz and Cookies

Due to the poor decisions of our overseas brethren (Read: A strategic, government endorsed genocide and eugenics program of atrocity), German-Americans rarely announce our heritage. We eat a lot of sausage. We spell October with a “k” when the occasion presents itself. We have a genetic predisposition to like beer. We also race wiener dogs. Well, … Continue reading